My husband let me in on his secret. He would try to judge whether Thea was progressing or not. He would go in every 3 minutes. If it sounded like she was doing better, he’d wait 4 or 5 minutes. If it sounded like she was getting worse, he’d go every 2-3 minutes. He also said, “I tried to use the language of the Spirit. I don’t know if that’s a real thing, but I tried to communicate with my eyes. I said, you’re okay; I know this is hard, but you can do it.
He stayed home from work to be with me and coach me as I put her down for a nap. She struggled for about 30 minutes this time, but I was amazed at how I really could hear that she was trying to soothe herself. And I could tell when she was doing better and when she was doing worse. I also haven’t prayed so much for my baby as I did during that period. I just kept praying for Heavenly Father to send the Holy Ghost to “teach her all things” (John 14:26). I couldn’t communicate with her like I wished I could in order to teach her, but the Spirit can.
She slept for 2 1/2 hours after that.
The second nap was a disaster. She kept rubbing her eyes when we were playing, which is one way she communicates that she’s tired, and she was being fussy. So I read some books with her (part of our ritual to signal time to sleep), and then put her down. It was almost 1 1/2 hours before she fell asleep (and only for 8 minutes). I knew she was tired because every time I went in there and comforted her, her eyes would start to shut. But I think she really struggled with not being cuddled this particular time. She would grab my hand and hold it close to her face (AH! My heart!). So I tried putting a stuffed animal in there with her for her to snuggle into. It seemed to finally help at the end. But once she woke up after 8 minutes, I just took her out. I don’t know if that was right or not, but she had been working hard for a long time, so I figured she was starving. And she was.
She didn’t sleep again until 9:30 that night. I was feeding her in her high chair, and she was about to fall asleep right there! So my husband took her upstairs to lay her down and she was asleep before he reached her room. We think that she’s already gained the ability to allow herself to fall asleep, even if her “conditions” aren’t met. And she slept all night long.
Same thing happened the next morning (which was yesterday). She woke up, but still seemed pretty tired. About 1 1/2 hours later, she was nodding off, so I took her upstairs and she passed out in my arms on the way to the crib. Slept for 2 hours.
But again, that second nap of the day didn’t happen. I put her in because she looked and acted tired. But it was just a cry fest. When I went in to offer comfort, she looked wide awake. So I took her out. Again, maybe not the best, but I felt that the crying woke her up and it was going to be a long time of crying sessions before she was ready to fall asleep, which didn’t work yesterday. I don’t know. But that’s what I did.
All in all, so far, so good. Seems like we picked a perfect time in her life to begin the Ferber Method.